Everybody who has a dog names him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine "Sex". Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to renew his dog licence, I told the clerk I would like a licence for sex. He said "I'd like one too". Then I said "but this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said " you don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said " you must have been quite a kid".

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took my dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said "every room in this place is for sex." I said "you don't understand, Sex keeps me awake all night." The clerk said "me too." One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I would have sold alot of tickets. "But you don't understand," I said " I had hoped to have Sex on T.V." He called me a "show-off".

When my wife and I seperated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said "your honor, I had Sex before I was married". The judge said "me too". Then I told him that after I was married Sex left me. The judge said "me too".

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking for him. A cop came over and asked me "what are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said "I'm looking for Sex".

My case comes up Friday.......