A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his
four year old son standing at the fence with wide-eyes, soaking in the
whole event.

The man thought to himself, "Great... he's four years old and I'm
gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the
gun - I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer."

After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said,
"Well son, do you have any questions?"

"Just one," gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf
going when he hit that cow?"
==========================
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a
beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who
owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched
his gunbelt, and said, "I do... Why?"

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd
like to know that your horse is about dead outside!" The Lone Ranger
and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from
heat exhaustion.

The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to
feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said,
"Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create
enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."

Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles around
Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger
returned to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who
owns that big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stands again, and
claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?"

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, "Nothing, but you left your
Injun runnin'."

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