A man and a woman walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier.
"Show the lady your finest languginous chinchilla coat!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an
absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the
furrier
sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular
fur
goes for $65,000."

"No problem! I'll write you a check!"

"Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may
come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared."

So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The
store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?!
There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"

"I know" grinned the man. "I just had to come by to thank you for the
most wonderful weekend of my life!"
***********************
Two Texans were seated at the end of a bar when a young lady seated
a few stools up began to choke on a piece of hamburger. She was
turning blue and obviously in serious respiratory distress. One said
to
the other "That there gal is having a bad time!"

The other agreed and said, "Think we should go help?" "You bet," said
the first, and with that he ran over and said, "Can you breathe?" She shook her head no.

He said, "Can you speak??" She again shook her head no. With that, he pulled up her skirt and licked her on the rear end. So shocked was the
young woman that she coughed up the obstruction and began to
breathe, with great relief.

Back to his friend, he said "Funny how that "hind lick maneuver" always
works."