A Young Priest was very nervous at his first services that he could hardly
speak. After his second week in the pulpit he asked the Monsignor how he
could relax. The Monsignor replied "Next week, it may help if you put some
vodka in the water pitcher. After a few sips everything should go smoothly."
The next Sunday the new priest put the suggestion into practice and was
able to talk up a storm and felt just GREAT. Upon returning to the Rectory,
however, he found a note from the Monsignor:
1. Next time, SIP rather than GULP
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12
3. There are 12 deciples, not 10
4. Deavid SLEW Goliath, he didn't kick the shit out of him
5. We do not refer to our saviour Jesus Christ and his apostles as "J.C. and
the
Boys."
6. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"
7. Next week there is a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter
pulling at St.
Taffy's
8. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost are generally not refered to as
"Big
Daddy, Junior, and the Spook."
9. The recomended grace before meals is not "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the
grub,
Ya you da man."
10. Last, but not least, it is the Virgin Mary not "Mary with the Cherry."