A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night
around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping
and he is trying to sneak into bed. He's laying
in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart.

His wife wakes up and asks, "What the hell was
that?"

He replies, "Touchdown, I am winning 7 nothing."

She thinks to herself "I'm gonna fix him." Then
she lets one loose.

He yells at her, "What was that?"

She replies "Touchdown, tie score."

Now he thinks, "I'm gonna fix her." He's laying
there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up.
He tries so hard he shits in bed.

The wife asks, "Now what the hell was that?"

He replied, "Half time, switch sides."

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