1) Talking Cow

A city man was driving down a country road when his car sputtered to a complete stop near a field
filled with cows. The driver, getting out to see what was the matter, noticed one of the cows looking
at him. "I believe it's your radiator," said the cow.

The man nearly jumped right out of his city slicker britches! He ran to the nearest farmhouse and
knocked on the door. "Sir, a cow just gave me advice about my car!" he shouted, waving his arms
franticly back toward the field.

The farmer nonchalantly leaned out beyond the door frame to glance down the field. "Was it the cow
with two big black spots on it?" the farmer asked slowly. "Yes! Yes! That's the one!" the excited man
replied. "Oh. Well, that's Ethel," the farmer said, turning back to the man. "Don't pay no attention
to her...

"...She don't know a thing about cars."

2) Talking Horse

A traveling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had
just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. "Yes sir, I'm
a fine horse. I've run in 25 races and won over $5 million dollars. I keep my trophies in the barn."

The salesman computed the value of having a talking horse, found the horse's owner and offered a
handsome sum for the animal.

"Aw, you don't want that horse," said the farmer.

"Yes I do," said the salesman, "and I'll give you $100,000 for thehorse."

Recognizing a good deal, the farmer said without hesitation, "He'syours."

While he wrote out his check, the salesman asked, "By the way, why wouldn't I want your horse?"

"Because," said the farmer, "he's a liar - he hasn't won a race in his life."