The Computer
Posted by Tommy on March 19, 1997 at 19:52:13:
THE DRUG STORE COMPUTER Todd complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered, "Don't do that!!! There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what yoy can do about it only costs $10.00." Todd figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making noises and the various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have Tennis Elbow Soak your arm in warm water Avoid heavy labor It will be better in two weeks Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and some urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited $10.00. The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following: Your tap water is too hard -- Get a water softner Your dog has worms __ Give him vitamins Your daughter's on drugs __ Put her in rehab Your wife is pregnant __ It ain't yours__ get a lawyer And if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better
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