"Jane" was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they
> have sex in the dark. Hoping to free her husband from his inhibitions,
> during a passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp -- only to discover
> a cucumber in his hand.
>
> "Is THIS what you've been using on me for the past 5 years!?!"
>
> "Honey, let me explain!"
>
> "Why you sneaky bastard!" she screamed. "You impotent son of a --"
>
> "Speaking of sneaky!" he interrupted, "maybe you'd care to explain our 3
> kids!!!"