Q. Who is the best Sri Lankan batsman on the current tour?
A. Muttiah Muralitharan

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. A Sri Lankan batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What is the main function of the Sri Lankan coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. Why don't Sri Lankan fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. What do you call an Sri Lankan with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Sri Lankan
batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the Sri Lankan touring party?
A. The guy who removes the ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why did Nawaz Sharief kidnap Alan Mullaly ??
A. He just heard about the new weapon for which the Sri Lankans have no
known defense.

Q. What did Arjuna say after the Sri Lanka-England match ?
A. Shaken but not stirred ...

Q. What did Arjuna say after the Sri Lanka-India match ?
A. Massacred but not killed....we're not worried

Q. What do Sri Lankan batsmen and drug addicts have in common??
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will
come from.

Q. Why are Sri Lankan batsmen looking forward to the new millennium?
A. So they can at least say they passed a century.

Q. Who spent the most time on the crease of anyone in the Sri Lankan
touring party?
A. The lady who ironed the cricket whites.

Q. Why are Sri Lankan cricketers cleverer than Houdini?
A. Because they can get out without even trying.

Q. What does Chaminda Vaas put in his hands to make sure the next ball
almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat