Modern Mathematics

Romance Mathematics
smart man + smart woman = romance
smart man + dumb woman = affair
dumb man + smart woman = marriage
dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Office Arithmetic
smart boss + smart employee = profit
smart boss + dumb employee = production
dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Shopping Math
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn't need.

General Equations & Statistics
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and try not to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes,
there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new one.

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman.
Before marriage and after marriage.