A man goes to a busy restaurant and sits down at the only empty table.
As he sits down, he accidentally knocks the spoon off the table with
his
elbow. The waiter immediately takes a spoon from his pocket and places
it on the table.

The man, impressed by the promptness of the service asks, "Do all the
waiters carry a spoon in their pockets?"

The waiter answers, "We had an efficiency expert evaluate our
operation and he determined that 25 percent of the customers knock the
spoon off their tables, and that by carrying a spare spoon on us, we
save a trip to the kitchen and can be much more efficient."

Later as the customer asked for his bill he remarks to another waiter,
"Excuse me, but why do you have a string hanging from your fly?"

The waiter answered, "The efficiency expert determined that we were
spending too much time washing our hands after we went to the
bathroom, so the other end of this string is attached to my
'member,' and when I go to the bathroom, I simply use the string and
never having touched myself, I don't need to wash my hands."

The customer then asks, "Then how do you get your 'member' back in
your pants?"

The waiter replies, "I don't know about the other guys, but I use a
spoon."