A woman's garden is growing beautifully but the darn tomatoes
won't ripen. There's a limit to the number of uses for green
tomatoes and she's getting tired of it. So she goes to her
neighbor and says, "Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green.
What can I do about it?"

Her neighbor replies, "Well, it may sound absurd but here's
what to do. After dark go out into your garden and take all
your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they'll
be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they'll all be red,
you'll see."

Well, what the hell? She does it. Next day her neighbor asks
how it worked. "So-so" she answers. "The tomatoes are still
green but the cucumbers are all five inches longer."