Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.
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Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
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Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
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How do men define a "50 / 50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
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How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
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How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE -- He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
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What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
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What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.
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What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
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What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
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What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.
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Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
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Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
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Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
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