Here are the reactions when somebody leaves a glass of milk next to the keyboard.

Optimist:
The glass is half full.

Pessimist:
The glass is half empty.

Apple Computer:
You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.

Assembly programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.

Basic programmers:
No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.

Bill Gates:
Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.

C Programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.

CIA:
What makes you think that's milk?

National news media:
Hey, we wanted OJ!

Non-procedural language programmers:
I drank it when nobody was looking.

NSA:
We know what it really is.

Paranoid:
Here is a glass just sitting here. Why? Who put it here? WHY WHY WHY!!! SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!

Pascal programmers:
Well, what type of milk is it?

Pentium users:
I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.

Prolog programmers:
I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.

Copy protection crazies:
Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!

Faith-healer:
If we worship it, it will feel better.

Feminist:
How come HIS glass is bigger than MINE?

Free Software Foundation:
That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!

Futurist:
The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.

Fuzzy logic guys:
I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.

IBM:
Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.

Idealist:
In a descent world, this glass would be filled to the brim and big enough for everyone to enjoy.

IRS:
Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.

Mac users:
Where's my pump?

MIS:
I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.

Schroedinger:
That stupid cat got into the milk again!

Security consultant:
Where'd the rest of the milk go?

Shareware game author:
That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.

UI designers:
What's that crap in my glass?

UNIX users:
Nahh . . . too easy.

Windows users:
Where's my straw?