During camouflage training in Louisianna, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting
general.

"You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"

"Yes, sir," the soldier answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a woodpecker drilled a hole in my trunk, and I did not move when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my
lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg, and I heard him the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter" - that did it."