Sri Lanka now hires very suitable candidates for the post of Members of 2004 parliment. Hurry up and submit your application soon.

Qualifications:
Education: Not required
Age:18 to 85 years
Skills: A foul mouth and longe tongue, Ability to use illegel firearms, close contacts with underworld gangs,experiene in making small size explosives,ability to stuff ballot boxes with hora votes. Preference will given to those who have a good track record of scams, fruads and money swindlings. Knowledge of damaging the environment with polythene a must.

The following benefits will be offered:
Salary Rs.22100/= per month
Other allowances legal;Entertainment Rs1000/= pm
Fuel Rs.7500/=pm Cell phone Rs.2000/=pm Attending parliment: Rs.4000/=pm Driver:s.Rs3500/=pm and postage Rs7500pm

Other extra benefits:
Telephone with international connection
Free photocopier, computer and typewriter at duty free rates,permit to import luxury car,very cheap meals from the parliment canteen to self and two other friends, pension after five years,life insurance Rs.1 million, Free Medical benefits for the family and free tyres and tubes for vehicle

225 vacanies will be filled on 2 April,2004. Those who are selected wil be called upon to take oaths at the parliment complex on April 22,2004 as law breakers than makers.

promotional prospects are glore for ministerial positions within weeks of selection for Back stabers, throat cutters, High and Long jumpers, something takers, boot lickers an serappu soup drinkers.

over to you Sri Lankans