A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American
girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along
very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and
asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Lawyer: "Have you any grounds?"
Polish Man: "Yes, an acre and half and nice little home."
Lawyer: "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
Polish Man: "It made of concrete."
Lawyer: "I don't think you understand. Does either of you
have a real grudge?"
Polish Man: "No, we have carport, and not need one."
Lawyer: "I mean. What are your relations like?"
Polish Man: "All my relations still in Poland."
Lawyer: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
Polish Man: "We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD
player."
Lawyer: "Does your wife beat you up?"
Polish Man: "No, I always up before her."
Lawyer: "Is your wife a nagger?"
Polish Man: "No, she white."
Lawyer: "Why do you want this divorce?"
Polish Man: "She is going to kill me."
Lawyer: "What makes you think that?"
Polish Man: "I got proof."
Lawyer: "What kind of proof?"
Polish Man: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at
drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it
say: 'Polish Remover'."