1. You have two choices in life. You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish your were dead.
2. At a cocktail. party, one woman said to another, "aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
3. A lady inserted an ad. in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine.".
4. When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
5. A woman is incomplete until she is amrried. Then she is finished.
6. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get Married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
7. A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
8. A woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was, until I got married; and by then it was too late."
9. If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to every word you say talk in your sleep.
10. Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men wolud go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
11. First guy says, "My wife 's an Angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."
12. A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man, to love and to forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.
13. Marriage is the Triumph of Imagination over Intelligence.