Good: Your hubby & you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
Worse: Your daughter borrowed them.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Worse: You're in them.

Good: Your wife bought you a porn movie.
Bad: It's over five years old.
Worse: Your daughter's the star.

Good: Your son's interested in school.
Bad: He has to do extra credit to pass.
Worse: Making a sex ed video.

Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a crossdresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.

Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Worse: So are you.

Good: You give the "Birds & Bees" talk to your kid
Bad: He keeps interupting.
Worse: With corrections !

Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Worse: She's a lawyer. (a GOOD one)

Good: Your wife sez you can go hunting all you want.
Bad: Because she's leaving you.
Worse: For another woman.

Good: Your wife is helping bring in income.
Bad: She's arrested for soliciting.
Worse: She implicates you.

Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: You're arrested.
Worse: By your spouse.

Good: The postman's early.
Bad: He's wearing camies and has an AK-47.
Worse: You gave him nothing for Christmas last year.

Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: They're both gay.

Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: The postman had the same idea.
Worse: There's a line, waiting.

Good: You get a three-day weekend.
Bad: You get the flu on Friday.
Worse: It's Tuesday morning already.

Good: You finally get a nite out.
Bad: You're seen going into a strip show by a gossip.
Worse: Your daughter's the headliner.

Good: Your husband's exercising and dieting.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.
Worse: He knows how to coordinate better.

Good: Your child's waiting for "Mr. Right".
Bad: Your son, that is.
Worse: He's recieved answers to his personals ad.

Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.
Bad: He weighs 350 pounds.
Worse: He catches you looking and smiles.

Good: Your wife loves outdoor sex.
Bad: You live downtown.
Worse: Neither of you drive.

Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.
Worse: From her Woman's Club meeting.

Good: Your wife's kinky.
Bad: With the neighbors.
Worse: ALL of them.