Maid: What do you want, sir?
Visitor: I want to see your master.
Maid: What s your business, please?
Visitor: There is a bill...
Maid: Ah! He left yesterday for his village...
Visitor: Which I have to pay him...
Maid: And he returned this morning.

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A foreign tourist hired a guide to take him around Delhi and Agra. At Red Fort at Delhi, he admired the architecture and asked how many years it took to build.
Twenty years, replied the guide.
You Indians are a lazy lot, the tourist said. In my country, this could have been built in five.
At Agra he admired the Taj's beauty and asked how many years it took to build.
Only ten years, said the guide.
The tourist retorted: You Indians are slow! We can construct such buildings in two-and-a-half.
In this fashion the tourist claimed that every building he admired could have been built in his country in quarter the time.
Finally, when they reached the Qutab Minar, and the tourist asked what it was,
the guide replied: I don t know. It wasn't t there yesterday evening.

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When an efficient secretary asked her boss for a raise in her salary, he turned her down, saying: Your salary is already higher than that of the secretary at the next desk. And she has five children.
Excuse me, the efficient woman replied, I thought we got paid for what we produce here not for what we produce at home in our own time.

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A small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging towards him. As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly continued his milking.
To everyone s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from the boy, turned around and walked away. Weren't you afraid? One of the workers asked the boy.
Not at all, the boy replied, I knew this cow was his mother-in-law.

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A patient complains to a famous psychologist:
Professor, I ve been having terrible obsessions for years, and no one has ever been able to help me.
Who s been treating you until now?
Dr Lal Rathor.
I see. He is an idiot. I m curious to know what he advised you to do.
To come and see you.

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Boy to mother: I ve decided to stop studying.
How come? Asked the mother.
I heard that that someone was shot dead, because he knew too much.

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Two terrorists were driving to the location where they intended to plant a bomb, which one of them had in his lap.
Drive a little faster, the bomb may go off any minute, said the man carrying the explosive.
Don t worry, the driver assured him, we have got a spare one in the boot.