Prince Charles & Udurawana were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Udurawana thinks "how poetic"
and says, "pass the custard you bastard".
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Udurawana at a bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Udurawana says - "Ranjit Udurawana Married"
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Boss : I am giving u a job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Udurawana : U R great sir! Starting salary is ok.......but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?
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Udurawana's theory : Moon is more imptant than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed
& Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!
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Udurawana shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office....
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Udurawana is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "walk", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "walk" and it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "walk...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......
.... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"
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Udurawana was looking at Egyptian mummy with one of his friends.
Udurawana : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Friend : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
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Udurawana in an interview 4 a post of a detective.
Interviewer : who killed SWRD?
Udurawana : Thank u sir 4 giving me a job, I will start investigating.......
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Udurawana for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was not 'FRIEND' but 'FATHER' .
He replaced 'friend' with' father' in the essay and it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS.SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
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Interviewer: whats ur qualification?
Udurawana : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Udurawana : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
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