A man after a late night party goes home drunk and is struggling to open the front door with the large bunch of keys.
A policeman on duty sees this and goes up to the man and asks him what he was trying to do.

The man says, Sir this is my house and if you don't believe me try these keys and one of them should open the door. The policeman tries the keys one by one and sure enough one of them opens the door.

The drunk man wanting to convince the policeman drags him into the house and shows the sofa and says, look at that red sofa, that is mine. Come on in see the food on the dining table, that is my dinner. Come on in to the bedroom. See that big bed, that is my bed. See that beautiful lady sleeping on it, that's my wife. See the guy sleeping with her, THAT'S Me.