John asks his grandpa: 'Do you still have sex with Granny?'
Grandpa says: 'Yes, but only Oral'.
John says: 'what is oral?'
Grandpa: 'I say F**k you, and she says:F**k you too'

The 3 tragedies in a man's life:
1- life sucks
2- job sucks
3- Wife does NOT!

A man is dying of cancer.
His son: 'Dad why you keep telling people you're dying of AIDS??'
Answer: 'so that when I die, no one will dare to f**k your mother.'

'I am your Doctor. Sorry to inform you that you have a brain problem.
Your brain is in 2 parts... Left and right.
The left part has nothing right in it, and the right has nothing left in it'

YESTERDAY NEWS: A nun jogging in the park was raped.
TODAY'S NEWS: Hundreds of nuns are jogging in the park!

Question: 'Why is a waist called a waist?'
Answer: 'Because anything above the p**sy and below the tits is a waste'

A lady tells her Man: 'I demand good manners in bed, just like at the dinner table'.
The man climbs into bed slowly and says:
'Honey, would you please pass me the vagina?'

Question: 'what's common between a good-looking, faithful, rich
husband who satisfies his wife sexually every night and Bin Laden?'
'BOTH CANNOT BE FOUND'