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How come when your wife's pregnant, All her female
friends rub her tummy & say congratulations!
But nobody rubs your ba....s and says good job?

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Guys are excellent cooks.
With two eggs, a sausage and a little bit of milk,
They can keep a girl's stomach full for 9 months.

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Today's generation: Six year old boy to a four year old boy:
Dude, I found a condom in the balcony.
Four year old boy: What’s a balcony ?

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Girl was looking at the tattoos of her boy friend.
Reebok on his arms, Lotto on his chest, Nike on his neck
but she was shocked when she saw AIDS on his penis
"Relax" said? The boy friend. When it enlarges, its
becomes ADIDAS.

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and
drink beer all day.

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Guys are born between a womens legs;
& they still spend their whole life trying to get
between them again;
That's what you call home sickness.

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A couple had a fight one night when they were going to bed,
Husband Taunted: Good night mother of 3 kids.
Wife: Good night Father of none.

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A guy in a romantic mood says to his girlfriend:
I want to be a part of your body.
She replies: no thanks, I already have an asshole.

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What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen,
While the baby is the result of standing cock.

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