Mother-in-Laws

1. A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric." The husband replied, "How about a chair!?!"

2. The lawyer cabled his client overseas: "Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?" Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order all three."

3. At the funeral, a priest was consoling the bereaved man: "Come, come my good man, tears cannot restore your mother-in-law." "Yes, I know...that's why I'm crying."

4. Adam and Eve were the happiest and luckiest couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.

5. Have you heard about this man who took his mother-in-law to the zoo and threw her into the crocodile pool. He is now being sued by the SPCA for being cruel to the crocodiles.

6. Two neighbours were having a chat when one said," I took my dog to the vet today because it bit my mother-in-law." The other asked, "Did you put it to sleep?" "No, of course not," said the first, "I had its teeth sharpened."

7. My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog in the street. "Oh, that's terrible" "Yes, it was terrible to watch the dog die slowly in convulsions."

8. The President of the service club asked his new member, "Would you like to donate something to the home for the aged?" The new member replied, "Yes, my mother-in-law."

9. Wife: Dear, this afternoon the big clock fell off the wall. Had it fallen a moment sooner, my mother would have been hit on the head and badly hurt.
Husband: Oh, my God! That clock has always been slow.