A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and
bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75-year old man
reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as
clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asks what happened,
and the man explains, "Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with
my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but
nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand,
but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her
mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still
nothing. Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried
with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing." The doctor was
shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOR?" The old man replied, "Yep, but
no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the damn jar open!"