Why do blondes have T.G.I.F. printed on each shoe?
"Toes Go In First."

What is the mating call of a blonde?
"I think I'm getting drunk"

What is the mating call of the brunette?
"Is the blonde bitch gone yet?"

What do blondes say after sex?
"Who were those men?"

Why do blondes wear panties?
"To keep their ankles warm!"

How do blondes turn on the lights after sex?
"Open the car door!"

What does a blonde have in common with an airplane?
"They both have a black box."

What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
"Goes Home."

What does a blonde wear behind her ears to attract men?
"Her ankles!"

What do you call a blonde with a dollar over her head?
"All You Can Eat, Under a Dollar!"

What does a blonde have in common with a turtle?
"If they end up on their back, they're fucked!"

What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
Not everyone has been in a 747!"

What's the difference between a parrot and a blonde?
"You can teach a parrot to say NO!"

Why does a blonde prefer a BMW to a Chevrolet?
"She can spell it."

What do you call a blonde with a pea-sized brain?
"Lucky!"

Wy don't they let blondes have coffee breaks?
"It takes too long to retrain them!"

What's the differince between a blonde and the Titanic?
"They know how many men went down with the Titanic."

Why do blondes like cars with tilt steering wheels?
"It gives them more head room!"

Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
"So she could lip read!"

How do you get a blonde to marry you?
"Tell her she's pregnant!"

What will she ask you?
"Is it mine?"

What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
"A mental block!"

How do you tell if a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
"By the M&M peels on the floor!"

Why did the blonde have square boobs?
"She forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box."

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
"Last year's hide-and-seek champ!"

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
"Three... One to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit!"

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
"You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball!"

How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
"She threw it off the cliff!"

Why was the blonde proud to finish her jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
"The box said '2-4 years'!

Why arn't there any blonde gymnasts?
"When they do splits they stick to the floor!"

How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
"69 interrupted by a period!"

How do you brainwash a blond?
"Give her a douche and shake her upside down!"

What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
"A dope ring!"

What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
"A Wind Tunnel!"

What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
"The more you bang them the looser they get!"

What does a blonde say after she has sex?
"Gee, are all you guys on the same team?"

What's the irritating part of a blondes vagina?
"The blonde!"

How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?
"Flattered!"

How do you get a blond pregnant? "
Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest!"

What is the difference between an intelligent blonde and Bigfoot?
"Bigfoot has been spotted!"

What do you call a fly buzzing around a blondes head?
"A space invader!"

What do you see when you look into a blondes eyes?
"The back of her head!"

Why did the blonde have a bruised navel?
"Her boyfriend was blonde too!"

What do blondes and cowpatties have in common?
"The older they are, the easier they are to pick up!"

Why don't blondes eat bananas?
"They can't find the zipper!"

What's the difference between a blonde and your toothbrush?
"You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush!"

How much are 1 brunette and 3 blonde hookers?
"Regular price, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks!"

How do you drive a blonde crazy?
"You give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to alphabetize them!"

How do you drown a blonde?
"Put a mirror on the bottom of the pool."

How does a blonde like her eggs?
"Unfertilized!"

Why did the blond only change her baby's diaper once a month?
"The box said 'for 20 pounds'!"

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
"Shine a flashlight in her ear!"

How does a blonde part her hair?
"By doing splits!"

What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
"Introduce herself!"

What do a blonde and a computer have in common?
"You don't know how much either means to you until
they go downon you!"

Why do blondes have trouble achieving orgasm?
"Who cares!"

Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
"So they have a place to rest their ankles!"

What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
"An interpreter."

Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
"It kept falling out!"

Why don't blondes use vibrators?
"They chip their teeth."

What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
"Artificial Intelligence!"

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
"You can park in a handicapped zone!"