>>> A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
>>>
>>> The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring
>>> me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75-year old man
>>> reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as
>>> clean and empty as on the previous day.
>>>
>>> The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, doc, it's
>>> like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
>>> with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She
>>> tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing.
>>> She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the
>>> teeth out, and still nothing.
>>>
>>> Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both
>>> hands and her mouth too, but nothing." The doctor was shocked. "You
>>> asked your NEIGHBOR?" The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we
>>> tried, we couldn't get the damn jar open!"